


Suffocate For You

by Leo_Our_Queen



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt, Hurt Bruce Wayne, Hurt Clark Kent, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sickfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 02:35:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20127949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leo_Our_Queen/pseuds/Leo_Our_Queen
Summary: Clark doesn't worry about much, he's invulnerable, almost immortal. What does a superpowered alien have to worry about? There is nothing the man of steel isn’t strong enough to endure.That is until he saw that single red rose petal.





	Suffocate For You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sherlakur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlakur/gifts).

> Thank you to my lovely betas [Pax](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PAX_X/pseuds/PAX_X) and [Resveratrol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resveratrol)  
They're the real MVPs and deserve all the love in the world!

Clark didn't worry about much in regards to his health. 

He worried about other things; like the usual bills, rent payment, his mother, Lois, and always Bruce. Overall he didn't worry about what normal mortals worry over; like getting mugged, shot, stabbed, or just getting hurt. Ultimately he didn't worry about dying.

What does a superpowered alien that can move planets have to worry about? Nothing can kill Superman.

Except one thing.

He saw it when the sun's beams hit him right in the face through the blinds of his window. Bright red and stark on top his white pillowcase. His vision refocused completely, trying to make some sense of what was in front of him.

A single red rose petal.

Clark slowly brought himself to a sitting position, leaning on one arm. He gently picked up the offending petal and examined it closely before looking around in his bedroom.

He loved flowers just as much as the next person, but roses weren't exactly his preference; and they especially weren't anywhere in his house, not to mention his bedroom.

"Where did you come fro-" His sentence was completely interrupted by hacking coughs, making him completely double and over trying to catch his breath.

When he was finally able to ground himself, he looked in his palms to see several rose petals, some very so slightly covered in blood.

"Oh no." 

Superman now has one thing to worry about.

* * *

He had hanahaki.

Hanahaki Disease.

Hana-_ damn _-haki disease.

Clark couldn't take his eyes off his computer screen with his fist clenched, almost crushing the mouse. His coworkers were giving him sideways glances since he showed up with a medical mask. The country man could even hear the mutters of 'why didn't he just stay home if he was going to come in that sick?', but Clark couldn't care less, he only cared about what was in front of him on the screen.

** _Hanahaki disease is an illness born from unrequited love. The individual will cough up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It's a growing infection of vines that will wrap around the lungs and suffocate the individual slowly. The infection of vines can be removed through surgery, but the feelings harbored by the patient will disappear._ **

** _There is no known natural cure for hanahaki; prolonged, the infection will become lethal and result in death._ **

"Uh, Smallville?"

Clark couldn't stop rereading the last sentence.

"Hey Smallville?"

** _Prolonged, the infection will become lethal._ **

"... Clark?"

** _Result in death._ **

"Smallville!"

Clark was shaken out of his thoughts and looked over to one of his closest friends. Lois had pure concern written all over her facial features and he didn't blame her.

"What in the hell is going on with you?"

"Uh, what?" he looked at her, dumbfounded.

"Don't 'what' me! You literally stomped in here with a damn mask on your face. I've been calling your name for almost 10 minutes. Are you okay? What's with the mask? You've never had to do that before."

He had difficulty keeping up with her words, he was a tad bit in the middle of an existential crisis.

"I, um… I got a cold."

Her frown would have been comical. "... a cold?"

"Yep! It's like a Kryptonian cold." He lied helplessly as he turned his monitor away from her view. "It isn't contagious but I didn't want to blow snot on everyone."

Lois didn't look convinced but she knew when to drop the subject. "Alright."

"Hey, I'm actually going to leave, I only came to finish this article." Clark loaded everything in his backpack. "I'm going to head home and sleep this off."

"Clark."

"Yeah, Lo?"

She hesitated. "You know I'm here if you need anything right?"

Clark hated lying to her, but he could feel the petals already crawling up his throat. He needed to leave now.

"I know, Lo."

He turned on his heels and sped straight to Gotham City, the source of his problem.

* * *

For years Clark had the biggest crush on the Batman since he first saw the vigilante in action. He's been in love with Bruce Wayne for even longer than that. The billionaire never knew of Clark's true feelings and the farm boy was in no rush to tell him. Not even now, when his life literally depended on it. 

Hanahaki only goes away when your love interest returns your feelings, and Clark knew without a doubt that Bruce would never feel the same. Superman was a hero and a superpowered alien, but Clark Kent was a total dork, an ordinary man, a plain and ultimate loser. He never got the courage to say anything because he genuinely believed that someone like him shouldn't be with someone like Bruce.

Superman was in Gotham mulling over his choices, brooding over how to solve his predicament. He was on his way to Bruce's but instead became overwhelmed with fear of when the bat would reject him. So he took a took a detour and decided to sit on the nearest skyscraper with a gargoyle to keep him company. Why bother telling if he's going to be rejected anyway?

Maybe Bruce didn't need to know.

"Brooding is usually my thing."

Superman jumped in the air at the sound of the raspy voice. He was so deep in thoughts he didn't even hear said reason for his dilemma approaching.

"Batman! Hey!" He floated back down to ground after his initial shock. "It's a little too sunny outside for you to be out and about on patrol isn't it?" he chuckled.

"What are you doing up here?" 

"I was just... flying. Getting some air."

Batman narrowed his eyes behind the cowl. "You're a terrible liar."

"No! Not completely a lie." Superman looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. "Honestly, I wasn't feeling too hot. So I thought that flying and the wind would help."

_ Not a total lie, _he thought.

He failed to notice Batman was suddenly in his personal space, face close to his own.

"What do you mean? You're not feeling well?"

Superman tried to take a step back, only for Batman to come closer.

"It's nothing! I was just-"

"You don't get sick. It could be something serious."

"It's not. Please stay-"

"Your face is getting flushed."

Every step he took back, Batman took one forward. 

"That's because you're really close to-"

"This could be dangerous."

"Bruce please step bac-"

Superman's back hit the wall and a gloved hand landed on his shoulder.

"I'll run some tests in the cave."

"Stop!" Petals crawling up his throat, Superman clutched at his chest as he pushed Batman away a little too harshly.

"Superman, what is going on with you?!"

However words fell on deaf ears, Batman watched his best friend clutching his chest and hacking in his palm to the point of hyperventilating. He rushed forward when he saw Superman collapsing to his knees while gasping for air.

Superman was panting for breath when he realized his secret was out, he looked at Batman who kneeled by him and rubbed circles on his back, he then glanced back to the petals surrounding them on the ground.

Superman felt completely humiliated.

"How long?"

Okay_ now _ he felt completely and utterly humiliated. 

"I saw the first petal this morning," Superman replied, avoiding Batman's eyes.

"You need to confess."

"No."

"Superman."

"It won't matter if I do. They don't feel the same way."

Batman was silent, then said quietly, "You never know."

"But I do, B. They don't feel the same and they never will."

Batman let out a deep sigh, he then grabbed his friend's arm and helped him to his feet.

"Take us to the cave. We'll talk there."

* * *

After arriving and changing out of uniform, they opted to sit at the kitchen table. Bruce with his hands folded in front of his face and Clark staring intently at his untouched coffee by his hands.

"You never did say why you were out so early." Clark started.

"You need to get the surgery."

"No."

A hand slammed on the mahogany dinner table nearly jumping Clark out of skin, leaving the porcelain mug slightly shaking.

"Bruce…"

"Don't you have a clue what this thing is? It's a disease."

"I know," Clark sighed.

"Then you know you are going to _ die _ Clark. You need to either get the damn surgery, or grow up and confess."

Clark was taken aback from his friend's outburst. He looked down at his coffee, the steam rising up and fogging his glasses. He didn't have the heart to look at Bruce in the eyes because he knew his friend was right. The country man either needed to tell him how he felt, or lose all feelings through surgery. Clark would rather die than choose the latter, but if he didn't choose soon he'd die anyway.

"I'll tell them. It's manageable now but I can feel it getting worse. So I'll tell them soon." Clark said with solemnly.

"Who is it?"

Clark's entire body froze. He couldn't do it. Not now, not here, he wasn't ready.

"I can't… I don't want to…" He trailed off.

"Do I know them?"

_ You are them, Bruce. _

"Yeah. You do."

"She loves you."

Clark was confused. "Who?"

"Lois. She loves you and I know she would feel the same way."

Bruce stopped talking when he heard Clark snicker.

"Thanks for trying, but it's not Lois."

"Is it someone from the league then?"

"Please stop asking Bruce," Clark begged. "The more I think about it the more-" The sentence was finished for him when his entire body shook with coughs into his closed fists. Both Bruce and Clark looked down to see petals drop from Clark's hand into his coffee.

"Please Clark," Bruce leaned over with a small napkin and wiped the trail of blood from the corner of Clark's mouth. "Please tell them. They're not worth it if it means losing you."

Clark smiled and took Bruce's hand that still lingered near his mouth. Bruce was worth it in Clark's mind.

"I will," he lied.

* * *

Over the course of a week, Clark went from bad to worse, to wheezing every time he took a breath. Physically, he could no longer take a deep breath, so his work as Superman had to stop due to overexertion. He had to relearn how to inhale and master shallow breathing. Bruce wasn't making it any better, he was genuinely worried about his best friend and Clark knew that. The billionaire nearly threw him against the wall when he found out Clark could no longer breathe deeply.

Not a day passed without Bruce calling Clark to see if he confessed _ (he hasn't)_, to suggest private surgeons for the operation _ (he refused)_, or to just outright beg Clark to come to his senses and confess _ (he won't)_.

Hearing Bruce beg always made Clark break into a full fit of hacking and coughing. The Kryptonian even fainted from the strain on his lungs. Every time he x-rayed his own ribcage, he could see the vines squeezing inside him tighter and tighter everyday.

Now taking a deep breath of air was basically impossible.

In desperation he flew to the Fortress to discuss with his biological father if there was anything he could do to save himself.

"Confess your love." Jor-El said bluntly.

_ Well this was a total waste of my time. _

"He does not feel the same."

"There are multiple operations I've built in to remove-"

"Will I lose my love for him?" Clark interrupted.

Jor-El answered without a moment's hesitation. "Yes. Yes my son, you will."

"Then no."

"Kal-El you will surely-"

"I know what will happen!" Clark snapped loudly. "I rather die and take my last breath, than go a day without the love I have for him. He's my everything father," Clark finished quietly, "Bruce is my Superman."

Without hearing any argument, Clark turned off the AI. He open the locked storage cavity and gathered the papers hidden there and flew his way back to his Metropolis apartment. He wrote letters the day after he found out his hanahaki, Clark knew deep down he wasn't going to survive this because he refused to choose any of his options.

He spent hours writing letters to his friends and family. He wrote for Lois, the League members he was the closest with, his mother, and even Bruce. Each letter was sealed in an envelope but he left a single parchment out loosely.

He changed in the alley nearest to his complex and decided to just walk to clear his head. Clark's throat was scratchy so he leaned over and had one good cough right there on the street, he watched the rose petals flutter to the dirty concrete under his shoes. There was more blood on the petals than usual, which meant his time was right around the corner. Clark took a shallow, shuddering breath as he made his way up the stairs to his unit, the knowledge of knowing how close he was to death made him feel serene more so than scared. He accepted it. He just couldn't believe Superman was going to go out like this, that he was to be killed because of love. He let out a small chuckle at the thought. The past week he went out his way to spend as much time possible with his loved ones, his mother especially. He wrote in his letter to Bruce if he could take care of her when he was gone. Clark knew without a doubt that Bruce would even without asking.

Clark locked the door behind him when he saw Bruce flick the lights on, sitting in the loveseat waiting for him.

"Bruce! What are doing here?"

"What's in your hand?"

Clark looked at the envelopes and the single parchment he still had clutched in between his fingers. "Just articles for work."

"No, it's not." Bruce got up and walked over to where his friend was still standing by the door.

"Look Bruce, now isn't a good time." However Bruce snatched everything right out of Clark's hand before the alien had a chance to defend himself.

"Bruce! What the hell?!"

Bruce didn't care, he skimmed over the paper and flipped through the envelopes and saw just a single cursive name on each one.

** _ Ma _ **

** _ Lois _ **

** _ Diana _ **

** _ Oliver _ **

** _ Perry _ **

** _ Dick _ **

The envelopes continued, but he became livid when he saw **_ Bruce _** in the neat and cursive lettering and threw everything at Clark. The papers went flying over the room.

"Your will? Your fucking will?!"

Clark sighed, "Look Bruce-"

He was shoved in the wall by strong hands on his shoulders.

"You plan on dying! You're going to let this thing kill you. What about your mom, huh? The league? Your job? What about about the entire world? They need Superman! Damnit Clark what about me?!" 

Bruce's voice started to choke. "Just confess damn you! Why won't you just fucking confess?"

Bruce gripped his shoulders so tight, he could hear the flannel straining and the fabric threatening to tear.

"Anyone would be a fool to not love you. Why can't you see that?"

Clark's eyes were wide at Bruce's whole speech. He was shocked but he understood completely how his friend was feeling. If the positions were flipped, if it were Bruce then he'd happily give his soul and do anything in his power to save him from this curse.

_ I guess you're a fool then, Bruce. _

Clark brought his hands to his partner's shaking shoulders and brought him in for a bone crushing hug, the fear of death finally bubbling forth. He felt petals scratching up his throat and spilling over both of them, the blood from the petals staining both their shirts but neither of them cared. Clark was doing what he could to stay upright for Bruce despite agonizing pain he was suffering from.

Clark Kent was a broke reporter and a farmer, living in a shitty apartment, with no general hobbies other than writing and reading. He was a nobody.

Bruce Wayne was everything he couldn't put into words. Bruce was a billionaire, a genius, he lived his life saving people with and without the cowl, he owned Gotham as Batman and Bruce Wayne, he was widely known, and he was everything a loser was not. He was a somebody.

_ So what the hell would you be doing with me? _

Clark didn't know why someone like Bruce would even want to stay friends with someone like him. He especially couldn't fathom ever being in love with him. That was completely ridiculous and just damn absurd.

That is, until Clark felt a petal being pushed into his hand.

He let go of his friend and brought it up to his face and saw it was a different colored petal. It was deep blue, and weathered as if it was held onto for too long. Clark too his eyes away from the petal to the man who put it in his hand.

"Bruce, what is this?"

Bruce looked at the ground and back up to meet his friend's lens framed eyes.

"I know what it's like. I was in constant pain too, and I refused to tell him because I knew he would never feel the same."

Clark was shocked.

"No way."

His heart was beating faster and faster with every word.

"Bruce…"

"We're from two different worlds. I knew he would never feel the same."

"You had hanahaki?"

Bruce nodded, "I did what I had to do."

"You had the surgery," Clark finished for him.

"Please Clark, please if you don't tell them, then have the surgery. I know you would rather die than lose whatever you feel for them, I felt that way too. But it gets easier with time and-"

"Who was it?"

Bruce sighed and looked back down.

"Clark look-"

"Who was it Bruce?!"

The guilty look in his eyes was answer enough, but the way Clark heard how Bruce's heart was beating straight from his chest was the dead giveaway.

"It was me, wasn't it?" Clark asked.

Bruce looked back down, "I'm sorry."

"Teh," Clark let out a small chuckle, which then turned into full blown hysterical laughter.

"Clark?"

Still laughing, Clark leaned against the wall and slowly slid down until he was sitting with his knees to his chest. The hero looked so small on the floor. "You don't love me anymore, do you?"

"The surgery-"

"Bruce." He interrupted, "You don't love me. Not like that… not anymore right?"

Bruce was quiet before he spoke. "No."

Clark leaned down and put his head to his knees, he finally decided to let the tears fall until he couldn't take it and hurled right there on the floor, enough rose petals for a full bouquet.

Bruce kneeled in front of Clark reaching out until he was stopped. Clark had pushed a single blood coated rose petal in his hand beside his blue one.

Bruce looked at the petals and his eyes widened in realization.

"You mean?" 

"Yeah." Clark answered, "I love you Bruce, I loved you since the beginning."

Bruce looked in his hand and then to petals and blood that was pooled around the both of them. Tears of his own sliding down his face.

"Oh God."

Clark started coughing again, this time instead of petals, only blood landed on the fist he brought to his mouth. He started to lean over but was caught by Bruce and cradled in his arms.

"Clark you confessed! I loved you!"

All Bruce heard in return was shallow, wet breathing.

"Clark! I said I loved you!"

"It's not enough," Clark croaked out.

"I loved you. Dammit Clark I loved you! Why isn't it enough?!" Bruce was panicking watching his best friend's eyes get dimmer by the second and start to close.

"No Clark! Come on, stay with me." Bruce shook his body but his head rolled to the side. "No! No, no, no this isn't how you're going to leave. Clark! Stay with me!"

Nothing.

"Clark!" He brought Clark's face to his and sealed his lips over bloody ones in a kiss. When Bruce broke the kiss, blood smeared on his mouth and he looked at his friend's unresponsive face.

"Clark?" He shook him slightly. "Clark? Clark?! KAL!"

Still nothing.

"Fuck Clark." Bruce lowered his head and rested his forehead against Clark's, he could still taste the blood on his lips.

Bruce was in love with Clark, he found out he was dying of Hanahaki when he coughed a single blue tinted rose petal on Alfred's homemade lasagna on Dick's plate. He remembered looking at his guardian and son in the eyes and seeing they already knew who it was. Bruce wanted to tell Clark, but he has seen how he interacted with Lois. Someone so bright and common, just like the farm boy himself. Bruce saw himself as a rich, pretty boy with issues. Why the hell would humble and peace loving Clark ever be in love with him?

_Why didn't I say anything?_

Bruce's entire body was shaking while he was still holding his friend in his arms. His self control completely gone as the tears flowed down while he sobbed.

Until he felt the being in his arms take in his first true lungful of air. 

**Author's Note:**

> For my darling and beautiful [Velvet or Sherlakur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlakur/pseuds/sherlakur)


End file.
